Closing of the Files

As of today, I close this tiny glimpse into the life of a Noblewoman/Swordbearer/Time Lady/Wife. Perhaps when the time is right, the files shall be opened once more.


-The Seer

My Whole Existence is Flawed...

I'm...becoming someone I hate. I recently talked to Victor, and I've gotten more and more aggressive in my talks with him...too aggressive....and I'm afraid.

She keeps surfacing...and she wants him bad. This is the worse part about being half-breed...the non Gallifreyan side is running at full steam and it's on the hunt. And it's after Victor. The two sides ever fight for dominance over me and how I feel.

...I'm afraid.

Dreams and Fears.

Upon awakening in my TARDIS this morning, I found that I was weak and soaked in sweat. The recent regeneration into a Jaeger has proved to be an unsettling trial of sorts, so I just chalked it up to being nerves and the like. However, upon some meditation in the Zero Room, a dark and sinister voice settled into my mind once more. This hasn't been the first time this has happened since I've met Victor and become House Chancellor...and I fear it will not be the last.

Victor and I have tried countless times to seal my mind from these voices, and from other Time Lords getting into my mind....it only works for a certain amount of time...and then it fails, as the voices get stronger and stronger. I fear, soon that they will take me over and then I will be truly lost.

The dreams, have been even more unsettling. Dreams of darkness, pain, suffering. The one last night was worse...I was sitting in a High Council meeting, and all of a sudden, my arms were covered in a black, writhing ooze that didn't hurt, but spread until it covered my entire body. Then the pain set in, as it slowly destroyed me and my genetic matrix. I woke with a scream, my recent companion not being in bed, but probably hard at work...as usual. So here I write my secrets, hoping someone will understand and maybe have an answer for me as to why I cannot sleep and cannot think...


---Caladon

Our Childhood, Our Home...

So it has come to pass that I, Caladon Rae...have found out that I am partially of the Noble Race of Gallifrey. Since then, my life has changed in so many ways. I have settled into the House of Cerulean, at Zenobia Time Station (http://zenobia-altera.blogspot.com), and have settled in as the House Chancellor. Being the only Time Lord in a non Time Lord house has proven to be slightly unsettling, however, as I am the only one who can regenerate, among other things.

On the flip side, I have been neglecting my duties to the Consulate, being busy with House Cerulean...and I feel I have let the Baron down by being so distant. But I have a feeling that both worlds are about to collide...and it may be up to me to control it.

And on the joyous side, I have finally gained some inspiration....more on that later though.

Old Endings and New Beginnings.

It has ended.

The safety of what I held dear...is gone.

And now...I must move on.


Things ended smoothly between Apollo and me, which I'm grateful for. Any longer, and I would have exploded. I did cry a bit when it was over, but as soon as I finished, I looked at my badge that the Baron gave me and made a decision to move forward. For my sake, and the sake of everyone that I love and care about.

Three days ago, I woke up from my slumber and rose from bed when this massive pain in my chest began. Nothing helped, and even Espah tried to alleviate the pain with some energy changes...no avail.

Then something interesting happened...I seized up and according to Espah, emitted this bright yellow light from my hands and face. When it was over, I looked in the mirror, and screamed. I had changed appearance totally...

That same day, I landed in Steam SkyCity for the Prop Spinners Night at the Pub. Soon, this beautiful white tiger messaged me in private, and as intrigued as I was, we began to talk. *smiles* He's a complete gentleman...not like the other men I've met in Caledon. We went out last night to see an old friend of mine, and I fell in love.

More tomorrow, as time permits.

---Caladon

Peace and Quiet on the Home Front.

Finished my home office today. Apollo was genuinely surprised at all the work I put into it. I finally dragged myself out of the office long enough to go to the Beltane dance at Winterfell. Got more than what I bargained for, but hehe, I liked what I saw.

It's been too quiet lately...I feel something stirring inside me again, but maybe it's my desire to go hunt. I'll grab the Captain later and go out.

....I'm sure it's nothing.

More later

Busy as usual.

Worked on my home office again. Seems my mate set out three flags for me, two on the wall and one behind my desk. On the left of the desk, he set out the Wulfenbach flag, and on the left, he had set out the Caledon tartan. Behind me, however, was another Wulfenbach flag, which is good. The Baron himself would be pleased that my love at least supports me in this endeavor.

Speaking of the Baron...I haven't seen him since the Steelhead mission. The Captain as well.

I wonder if they're alright during this time of newfound peace.


More later.